Au Pairs who make me have homicidal thoughts.

Hallo! How is going, girls?

Oh Stephy, who are those au pairs? OMG, are you gonna start killing people? - They are every where, making host families go crazy and join the dark side. They, my dear, are mostly the main reason why a host family can turn out to be very strict and full of rules for this and that. And, no, as much as I wish I could actually give them some physical punishment to see if, perhaps, their brains would start working properly. Just because they are destroying a great part of my good brain cells, it would not be considered self-defense if I hit them with a guitar in the head, (said, right? :( ), but, hey, I do it mentally !

I will share with you some of the stories I heard, and actually know the au pair, so that you can see how the behave of the previous au pair can affect your year quality and relationship with your new host family. 

  • - The car RULES! - "I want the car in the garage by 10pm" 

Rules for the care are the worse. Au PAIRS need a car! It is basically our only way of getting our free time from everything with out being depended of other people's good will. 

Some host families are so strict about the car rules that it becomes impossible for the au pair to enjoy her free time because sometimes there is no way to go by bus, or train, or the friend who said would pick her up let her down on the last minute. Enjoying our free time is one of the most important parts of the program. Au Pairs are always stressed and want to get away all the time, but if the host family keeps controlling the car she might miss out on cool events and opportunities of having fun. Of course, she will blame the host family, and probably she is not gonna work with a smile on her face for awhile. I believe that a happy au pair works better, meaning that a happy au pair results in happy children because she transmits such happiness by taking good care of them, being more active and playing more often with them. 

The reason why some host families become so worried about the car rules is because of those au pairs I mentioned on the first paragraph. Those au pairs did everything wrong that you could possible imagine with the car, RESULTING in a host family with trusting issues and a long list of car rules such as curfew, amount of miles allowed to drive, rationing the gas, not parking on the streets, not allowed to drive friends, and so on. 

For ex, I know an au pair who were really irresponsible with the family car. I knew her host family as well, so I can vote for them regarding they were really nice (way too nice) to her. They were so nice that they would pay a nanny for the weekends, so that their au pair could have free time. Funny fact is that she did not  have to work the 45h at all. It was only about 25h a week, and yet they wanted to make sure she had time to enjoy her staying in the USA as much as she could. Also, they offered  to sponsor her working visa, and  to give her a job in their company, plus college expenses. Instead of embracing this amazing importunity,  she abandoned the program, and if  that was not enough she also says horrible things that are not true about them all the time for whoever wants or not to hear it. She was constantly drunk and partying over the weekends. Well that is not our business, or the host family's, but from the time she drove their car drunk  and got tons of tickets, the family had all the right to ask her to be more responsible. Otherwise, she would lose the right of driving their ca for personal matters. Instead of listening, she got really furious with their attitude, and abandoned the program. She married a guy she had just met (like a week before that), and moved in with him. After that, the host family got a new au pair, who I know, and they have this huge book of rules for everything. It is kind of crazy, but if you think about it, how can they know if the new au pair is just like the previous? You may think "Well, they should trust the new one cause people are different", yeas, but what if she is like the previous one? When your kids and your car, and someone else's well being is on line, you can't risk it. The previous one was lucky that she never got into a big accident, but that can happen in the future any time. After some time, the new au pair turned out to be way different from the crazy one,  and she earned their trust. Now the car rules are almost gone. Unfortunately, some host families might not change after being hurt for the first time, so the new au pair will have to live with the rules generated by the mistakes of a crazy au apair which is really not fair. 

  • - NO Friends in MY HOUSE! - "I trust you, actually I don't, but I don't trust your friends as well."

Being away from your friends who you left behind is hard, but some host families can make it even harder when they don't let you bring any of the friends you are trying so hard to make to their precious houses. 

Some of them say "I trust you but not them" - that is crap, my dear. If they trusted you, they would trust your judgement for choosing who you want to hang out with, and who you want to tell your secrets for. Maybe they do trust you, but are hell scared of someone they don't know entering their lives,  and they are even more scared to ask you about them cause they are afraid that you will think they are trying to control your life. However, most families are just tired of trusting au pairs and having a disappointment after another. For ex, this au pair who won the trophy for "Crazy au pair of the month" simply threw are party while the host family was gone on vacation. Did she ask them to do it? Nope! Did she tell them she would? Nope. What happened? She did this big party, the house got all crapped, and neighbors told the host family right away. Her guests drank the host dad's expensive drinks, and the carpet that once was white looked more like mud. 
The host family, very nice, just told her to never do that again, they paid for everything and did not punish her or cut her benefits out.  

Did she stop there? Nope. She once saw one of her teen (12 yo) host kids drinking alcohol with a friend while the parents were on a date night. Instead of stopping them, and telling the parents about the situation, she said "Oh well, just don't let your parents find out, hehehe". Was that all? Nope, the family gave her a  credit card for groceries shopping. Because they trusted her, they never asked for receipts as long as she would only use it on the supermarket. She used their credit cards for buying make up and other stuff for herself with out even thinking that this was stealing. She told me "AH, they are rich and they don't ask for the receipt. It is ok" . Then, the next time they went on vacation, she stole their credit card, left a letter saying good bye in the mail box, used the credit card to pay for her extra suitcase's fees, and flew back to her home country. 

Now, this host family is full of rules for the house. Before they did not care about having  friends over. They would even let the au pair buy pizza with their money. Now, no friends allowed, no credit card for the au pair to buy the food she likes, and new car rules. She literally made the new au pair's life miserable. 

Why do I get so crazy about this kind of thing? Well, I am a good au pair, I respect rules, and I do everything do way it is supposed to be done, but I had a bad experience with a mean host family. I just can't understand how someone can be so dumb to throw away such good host families like that, and just do not care about anything at all. There are so many good girls like me who deserve to have a host family that respects you and trusts you, but those crazy au pairs damage them before we can even get to them. To make things worse, they can even damage the reputation of other au pairs by associating nationalities, for ex, brazilians are famous for being late all the time. I am super on time and hate being late, but because I am brazilian, my host family first host family thought I would be late all the time cause they had a brazilian au pair that was super late for everything. Then they made me get to places about an hour before, and that really annoyed me cause an hour plus half an hour of driving is way to much. 

I have more stories that I could use as an example, but the post is pretty long already and I think you got the main idea. Be careful with the things you do because
they do not only affect you but also the next innocent au pair. In the next post I will talk about how your behave can turn them into lazy and very accommodated people as well.

Hope  you enjoyed the post! Please like our page on facebook to be updated when there is new posts! See ya! -

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  1. Um outro exemplo foi na casa em q eu morei, em q eu tinha curfew, por causa q uma au pair anterior chegou em casa uma vez quase na hora de tomar conta das kids, e ainda por cima, ela ainda estava um pouco alcoolizada.. Pois eh.. pois eh...

  2. Pois eh, pois eh! Aqui comigo foi o contrario. A au pair anterior fazia umas coisas tipo de mais, como cortar todas as verduras e guardar na geladeira. Nobody aint got time for that! LOL

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